Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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