can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hippo gnu deer
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
tell me about the fingering
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