i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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