I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
