There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
