somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
