this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
