Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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