not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
