My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
