I'm gonna have a badass scar
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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