im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she told me i tasted like america
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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