Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
