We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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