I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
