I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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