wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
