I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
