So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
