Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
