We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
someone owes me an orgasm
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
