Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
