Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
