I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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