I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
