I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
