Dignity is for republicans.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize