Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
