I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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