Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
