Kiss
Puke
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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