he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
