love makes seman taste better
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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