This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
