In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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