I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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