the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
