My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
