At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
