Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize