They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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