were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
