Princesses don't give blow jobs
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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