I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
