My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
