life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
