I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
