Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
