the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
