it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Never underestimate the power of titties
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
