we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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