spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
