Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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