Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
