Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize